Parents are central to their child’s happiness and success. Whether a child is young or a teen, sensory needs and executive functioning can have a big impact on behavior and how they navigate daily life, friends and school
Educators play a powerful role in a student’s success. How they support engagement and respond to behavior can make a meaningful difference in how a child is able to “play school"
Caregivers make a meaningful difference in the daily lives of older adults. Understanding the “why” behind behaviors can help bring calm, ease fears, and support their needs more effectively.
At Secret to Happy, we believe that all behavior is a form of communication... and when we understand it, we can find better solutions.
This applies across all settings:
As an occupational therapist with 26 years of experience, I’ve come to see that the same principles that support struggling children can also support struggling adults. The needs behind behavior are universal and apply to kids with executive functioning challenges, someone overwhelmed by sensory input, or an adult experiencing cognitive decline.
This website focuses on the basics of how the brain works, because that’s where meaningful strategies begin. Simple approaches like using visuals, allowing time to process, and using clear, essential language, can make a powerful difference.
These tools support better communication, understanding, and more successful interactions helping things feel calmer, clearer, and more manageable for everyone involved.
Most behaviors have a brain-based explanation. When we begin to understand the different pieces that contribute to behavior, it can shift perspective and open the door to more effective solutions.
It’s completely normal to feel frustrated when a child is struggling or misbehaving, or when an older adult needing care resists help. Those moments can feel overwhelming and discouraging.
When behavior is viewed through words like “lazy,” “defiant,” or “obstinate,” it often becomes harder to know what to do next and harder to stay connected in a helpful way. Looking a little deeper at the “why” behind behavior can make those moments feel more manageable and guide more supportive, effective responses.
A person’s natural preferences can make support feel easy or really challenging. When support aligns with a person’s natural wiring, things feel easier. When it doesn’t, even simple tasks can feel overwhelming or frustrating. Understanding this is a key first step, because the best strategies are the ones that match how they’re wired.
Threshold refers to how much input a person can handle in a given moment within an activity or environment. Understanding this helps guide strategies and tools that better match what they need. When we recognize a person’s threshold, we can better adjust the environment by either reducing input to prevent overwhelm or by adding input to support engagement.
Sensory processing is how the brain takes in and responds to the world and it often drives behavior more than we realize. What may look like “behavior” is often a response to discomfort, overwhelm, or a need for more input. When sensory needs are understood and supported, behavior often becomes more manageable and engagement improves.
The brain’s “management system” supports skills like planning, organizing, starting, shifting, and regulating behavior. When these skills are underdeveloped or impacted by cognitive decline or special needs, behavior is often affected.
Common areas of difficulty:
These challenges can make everyday tasks feel overwhelming. Individuals may have difficulty following multi-step directions, managing changes in routine, or even getting started on familiar tasks like dressing. This can sometimes look like frustration, resistance, or “non-compliance,” when in reality, the task itself feels too hard to manage.
Processing may be slower, and more time—or a different way of presenting information—may be needed. These difficulties can also impact safety awareness and judgment.
Discover how simple changes to the physical or sensory environment can reduce stress and support regulation at home, in the classroom or for a senior you are supporting.
Get strategies for helping with planning, organization, flexibility, and self-regulation... skills many struggle with, especially those with ADHD, learning differences or cognitive decline.
Whether you're supporting a 4-year-old, a teenager, or a senior struggling with decline, there are resources here to meet their needs, and yours, with developmentally appropriate strategies.
We understand that everyone has different learning needs and schedules. That's why we offer flexible learning options, including online courses to support teachers, parents and caregivers. Watch expert-led content that dives deeper into topics like anxiety, ADHD, giftedness, and motor challenges. Perfect for parents or professionals wanting to grow their understanding.
Behavioral challenges can feel exhausting—for everyone involved, not just the person struggling. Having a safe space to share experiences and connect with others facing similar situations can bring hope and renewed energy.
Facebook support groups coming soon!
Regulation is the foundation of this puzzle. To succeed, we need the ability to function even when faced with distractions or tasks we don’t enjoy. It’s okay to not be good at something yet—regulation allows us to practice and improve.
Without regulation, focused attention and functional behavior becomes challenging...both at home and school.
The next puzzle piece is self-monitoring. It involves recognizing when things aren't working, taking a moment to pause, and identifying the source of discomfort or difficulty. Encouraging kids to do a quick “scan” helps them slow down and focus inward—an essential first step in finding effective tools and strategies.
Wiring is like personality—kids are born with their own unique way of being, and this “wiring” shapes who they are. While we can’t change a child’s wiring, we can learn to understand and support it. Wiring can be a wonderful strength, but it can also create challenges. For example, enthusiasm makes someone lively and fun to be around, but it can make schoolwork or quiet time difficult. Instead of trying to change who a child is, we aim to help them embrace their wiring to find their Happy. Exploring a child’s wiring provides a valuable starting point for developing effective strategies to support them.
Thresholds represent the level of input needed for a child to achieve regulation, and these levels can shift depending on the environment, the activity, or even the child’s sense of success. Recognizing when a child’s threshold is low allows you to provide the right support to meet their system’s needs. However, using tools that offer too much input or intensity can overwhelm the child, potentially leading to a meltdown and worsening behavior. Understanding whether you’re addressing a high or low threshold in the moment is a vital piece of the puzzle for effective support.
Sensory processing is the way our nervous system collects information from the environment and our body, helping the brain decide how to respond. When sensory processing isn’t working properly, the brain might receive too much, too little, or unclear information. Without accurate signals, the brain can’t fully understand what’s happening, leading to responses that may not work as expected.
Executive functioning is the next important area to consider. Even if the brain is receiving the right signals, it still needs to use organizational skills to respond appropriately. When these skills are underdeveloped, the response can be impacted. If kids are often late, struggle with organization, can’t seem to prepare for tasks, or have difficulty focusing and completing work, it’s likely that their executive functioning skills need attention. Addressing these challenges may require strategies, tools, or additional time for development.
Our online learning programs are designed to fit around your busy schedule. Whether you're a working professional or a busy parent, we have the flexibility you need to succeed.
Our instructors are experienced educators who are passionate about teaching. They bring their expertise and enthusiasm to every lesson, helping our students achieve their full potential.
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