Parents are central to their child’s happiness and success. Whether a child is young or a teen, sensory needs and executive functioning can have a big impact on behavior and how they navigate daily life, friends and school
Educators play a powerful role in a student’s success. How they support engagement and respond to behavior can make a meaningful difference in how a child is able to “play school"
At Secret to Happy, we believe that all behavior is communication and when we understand the “why” behind behavior, we can respond with more effective, supportive solutions.
Whether you are:
…you are in the right place.
As an occupational therapist with 26 years of experience, I’ve learned that the core principles behind behavior are remarkably consistent. Children may struggle for different reasons such as executive functioning challenges, sensory processing differences, emotional regulation difficulties, anxiety, overwhelm, or communication barriers, but the needs underneath those behaviors are often universal.
At Secret to Happy, the focus is on understanding how the brain and nervous system work, because meaningful strategies start there.
Small changes can make a powerful difference:
When we better understand what a child’s brain and body need, interactions become calmer, communication improves, and success becomes more achievable for everyone involved.
This website was created to provide practical, easy-to-understand support for both parents and educators.
You’ll find:
My goal is to help adults see behavior differently; not as something to “fix,” but as important information that can guide us toward connection, support, and meaningful change.
Welcome to Secret to Happy. I’m so glad you’re here.
Most behaviors have a brain-based explanation. When we begin to understand the different pieces that contribute to behavior, it can shift perspective and open the door to more effective solutions.
It’s completely normal to feel frustrated when a child is struggling or misbehaving. Those moments can feel overwhelming and discouraging.
When behavior is viewed through words like “lazy,” “defiant,” or “obstinate,” it becomes harder to know what to do next and harder to stay connected in a helpful way. Looking a little deeper at the “why” behind behavior can make those moments feel more manageable and guide more supportive, effective responses.
Regulation is the foundation of this puzzle. To succeed, we need the ability to function even when faced with distractions or tasks we don’t enjoy. It’s okay to not be good at something yet—regulation allows us to practice and improve.
Without regulation, focused attention and functional behavior becomes challenging...both at home and school.
The next puzzle piece is self-monitoring. It involves recognizing when things aren't working, taking a moment to pause, and identifying the source of discomfort or difficulty. Encouraging kids to do a quick “scan” helps them slow down and focus inward—an essential first step in finding effective tools and strategies.
Wiring is like personality—kids are born with their own unique way of being, and this “wiring” shapes who they are. While we can’t change a child’s wiring, we can learn to understand and support it. Wiring can be a wonderful strength, but it can also create challenges. Instead of trying to change who a child is, we aim to help them embrace their wiring to find their Happy. Understanding this is a key first step, because the best strategies are the ones that match how they’re wired.
Thresholds represent the level of input needed for a child to achieve regulation, and these levels can shift depending on the environment, the activity, or even the child’s sense of success. Understanding this helps guide strategies and tools that better match what they need. When we recognize a person’s threshold, we can better adjust the environment by either reducing input to prevent overwhelm or by adding input to support engagement.
Sensory processing is the way our nervous system collects information from the environment and our body, helping the brain decide how to respond. When sensory processing isn’t working properly, signals sent to the brain might be too much, too little, or contain unclear information. Without accurate signals, the brain can’t fully understand what’s happening, leading to responses that may not work as expected. What may look like “behavior” may be a response to discomfort, overwhelm, or a need for more input. When sensory needs are understood and supported, behavior often becomes more manageable and engagement improves.
Executive functioning is the brain’s “management system” that supports skills and behavior. Even if the brain is receiving the right signals, it still needs to use various skills to respond appropriately. When these skills are underdeveloped, the response can be impacted. If kids are often late, struggle with organization, can’t seem to prepare for tasks, or have difficulty focusing and completing work, it’s likely that their executive functioning skills need attention.
Common areas of difficulty:
These challenges can make everyday tasks feel overwhelming. Individuals may have difficulty following multi-step directions, managing changes in routine, or even getting started on familiar tasks. This can sometimes look like frustration, resistance, or “non-compliance,” when in reality, the task itself is too hard to manage. Processing may be slower, and more time, or a different way of presenting information, may be needed.
Discover how simple changes to the physical or sensory environment can reduce stress and support regulation at home, or in the classroom.
Get strategies for helping with planning, organization, flexibility, and self-regulation... skills many struggle with, especially those with ADHD or learning differences.
Whether you're supporting a 3-year-old, or a teenager, there are resources here to meet their needs, and yours, with developmentally appropriate strategies.
We understand that everyone has different learning needs and schedules. That's why we offer flexible learning options, including online courses to support teachers, parents and caregivers. Watch expert-led content that dives deeper into topics like anxiety, ADHD, giftedness, and motor challenges. Perfect for parents or professionals wanting to grow their understanding.
Behavioral challenges can feel exhausting—for everyone involved, not just the person struggling. Having a safe space to share experiences and connect with others facing similar situations can bring hope and renewed energy.
Facebook support groups coming soon!
Our online learning programs and resources are designed to fit into your busy life. Whether you're a working professional or a busy parent, you can access resources anytime, on your own schedule.
This Parenting Program focuses on common challenges families face during the elementary years, helping adults support children in new and effective ways.
Coming soon!
Coming soon!